Is Singleness Really a Gift?

I remember as a little girl wanting to have the same family my parents had. I wanted to marry at 18 and have six children just like them. I wanted to be a young parent, so my children would reap the benefits of my energetic youth just like I did from my parents. I wisely wasn't allowed to pursue this endeavor until after I graduated high school. 

The idea that God would bring my husband and me together at a Christian Univesity was always in the back of my mind. I wasn't the "boy crazy" type, but they were definitely on my radar. However, I wasn't on the radar of any boys that piqued my interest.  Honestly, freshman and sophomore year, I was fine with this fact. I remember telling my dad my junior year that this was the year I was finding my husband. 

Failed. 

I began to get a bit worried during my senior year. I recall having Mrs. Berg for a class, and she said: "Most of you will get married, but for some of you, God has given you the gift of singleness."  Oh no honey, that message is for another girl. Not me.  I have a plan for how my life should be. I'm going to marry a pastor, we are going to have six kids. But there was something tugging in my heart saying, "Katie, she's talking about you." I was resisting that message. I didn't want God's good gift of singleness.  

I had another profound moment during my senior year. A missionary lady came and spoke to the class. She told us how she had been engaged two times! And yet both engagements were broken off. And she said,  "Listen, girls, my relationship with Jesus Christ has fulfilled me in every way." She made it clear to emphasize every way. And I thought I don't believe that. That is an impossible statement you are making. 

I have had several serious relationships that all were headed towards the goal of marriage. None ending in marriage was the will of God. Thankfully the Lord gave me the insight to break off the relationships. And the one in particular that I didn't want to end, God graciously and kindly ended it for me. I know somewhat of a romantic love relationship. And here is what else I know, a romantic relationship cannot satisfy my heart. 

Christians can have a wrong view of singleness. There are two views I have come in contact with from married Christians. Singleness is a curse or singleness is a "gift" of an easy life. A married fellow believer in the gospel (not someone from my church) said to me a few years ago, "You're not married yet, what's wrong with you." I simply responded, "I don't know, you tell me."  To my gift of singleness, this person asked what is wrong with me. Like I was cursed for not being married, that I am somehow incomplete until this husband piece of the puzzle is inserted into my life. This same person upon finding out that my younger sister was married said "Don't worry Katie your time is coming. There is a perfect man out there for you." This time, I just smiled. But inside I had so many things to say. Number one, I'm not worried, I'm actually very content. Number two, you cannot say there is a perfect man out there for me, I know you are trying to "make me feel better" but you can't say things you do not know. That is vanity and not helpful. Maybe there isn't a husband out there for me and I'm good with that because Christ has proven to me what that missionary lady told me decades ago. Christ has fulfilled me in every way. I have also been counseled more than once from married Christian ladies not to get married or have kids. They view their lives as restrictive and hard. They view my life as easy and free. Maybe I'll call it freasy. =) But is easy and free what makes singleness a gift? Not according to 1 Corinthians 7. 

Is singleness really a gift? Yes. I am convinced that singleness is a good gift. I am also convinced that marriage is a good gift. I'm so thankful for the life to which God has called me. I'm thankful that He is placing all the pieces to my puzzle as He sees perfectly fit. I'm thankful for a church that doesn't treat me as a second-class citizen.
I'm thankful that I am part of the Church, the Bride of Christ. 

Don't Drift

My friends and I went on a cruise several years ago. One day when we were off the boat, we found a remote beach where the locals congregated. There were several adult ladies on shore about 80 yards from the beach. They were having a pampering day with massages and food. My friends and I went down to the beach and got into the water to cool off. Soon, I saw a little girl probably 4 years old, all alone in the water. My "is this child safe, is she being watched" senses went off. I kept my eye on her. It became clear that she wasn't being watched. As I continued my vigilant eye on her, and not wanting to be thought of like a creepy lady, the little girl tired and was having a hard time staying afloat. So I did what had to be done and rescued her. That little girl was in danger of drowning because her mother wasn't taking heed of the situation. Maybe her mom was so used to the water that she forgot how dangerous it can be. I don't know. But I do now that if we neglect warnings and don't take heed that terrible things can happen.

The author of Hebrews gives us a warning. This warning is given to professing believers. TAKE HEED! Lest you drift away from the truth of the gospel. There is absolutely nothing more dangerous than for mankind to drift away from the doctrine of the Lord Jesus Christ.

What does it mean to drift? A google search gives a clear understanding. To drift is to be  
"carried slowly by a current of air or water or "a continuous slow movement from one place to another."  Drifting is dangerous because it takes you further and further away without your realization.

Why am I writing? Because my heart is grieved by many friends that have professed Christ and now renounce Him. We became friends in Christian circles of school and camp.   I ministered side by side with them and prayed with them. I was even rebuked and encouraged by them. But now they have nothing to do with Him. What happened? Sadly, they drifted from the truth of the gospel.

I'm writing to those who still profess Christ. I'm writing to those who maybe have become like the ladies on the shore, not realizing the danger. I'm writing to those who are drifting and are unaware of how far they have gone away.

Interesting Hebrew 2 says to take heed lest you drift away. Are you drifting away from the gospel of Christ? Hebrews tells us in Chapter 12 that we are to strive and run with endurance. Striving is hard. Drifting is easy. Striving has a goal and finish line. Drifting is aimless. Keeping with the nautical theme, the author of Hebrews says in 6:19-20 "We have this as a sure and steady anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek." What keeps us from drifting is the Anchor of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is of infinite worth, and His value is beyond measure. He perfectly obeyed God. He is righteous. What love that the God-man has for us. The exchange is not fair. Christ is of more value than the universe and what it contains. Yet He sacrificed Himself for humanity. We drift away when we forget Gospel grace and Gospel love.

Why have my friends drifted away? Well, apparently something is of more value to them than the Lord Jesus Christ. They have drifted away from Him and are striving after significantly lesser things. This warning is for me as a professing believer. Katie, take heed lest YOU drift away. I must endure, or my faith is in vain. I must lay aside sin and weights that cause me to drift away from Jesus Christ.

To my friends that have renounced Christ, I love you and pray that God's grace will bring you back to Him. To my friends that profess their faith in Christ, I love you and pray that God's grace will keep you from drifting away and that you will hear and heed God's warning.